You Know What’s Worse Than Cum In Her Eye?

Dear Men of LA:

You know what’s worse than cum in a girl’s eye?  A condom stuck in her pussy!  You don’t know what pain in the ass it is when that shit gets stuck way up in there.  It’s almost impossible to get out and then the girl has to go to her doctor and get it taken out.  Do you know how they take it out?  They take a long handled pair of tweezers, go in her pussy, and drag it out.  How would you like it if a doctor took a pair of tweezers and pulled something out of your dick?  Yeah, that would suck!  So here’s a few things you can do to ensure that your condom will stay nice and tight on that dick.

1  Use the right size condom.   If you have a small dick use a regular sized condom.  Using a magnum sized condom is not going to make your dick any bigger.  It’s only going to fall off.

2  Don’t put a condom on half ass.  Make sure it’s on there correctly.  Don’t worry, her pussy is not going anywhere.

3  Don’t fuck her so hard that the condom comes off and gets jammed up way in there.  Your dick is not a jackhammer.  Her pussy is not a piece of concrete.  The point of sex is for it to feel good, not beat the shit out of her.

The Pussy Rule: No Teeth Only Tongue

Dear Men of LA:

You don’t like it when we bite your dick so guess what?  We don’t like it when you bite the shit out of our pussies.  It hurts like a mother fucker.  So next time you go down on us remember tongue only, no teeth.  Remember the golden rule when it comes to oral, if you don’t want us to use our teeth on your dicks, then don’t use your teeth on our pussies.

Bush Or No Bush?

Dear Men of LA:

I suppose I should be asking girls this question, but since I think guys see a lot more pussy than girls do I’m asking you.  What’s the deal with the 70’s bush coming back into style?  I mean seriously!!  A couple of weeks ago my best friend and I were at a Korean spa and it was bush land everywhere.  Asians girls, white girls, black girls all had a huge bush.  In fact, my friend and I were the only ones that were shaved.  Are all the 70’s styles coming back in?  Hairy legs, hairy armpits, and hairy pussies or is it just hairy pussies?  Also, is this a fleeting thing or is it hear to stay, because let me tell you if a girl decides to grow out a bush and then has to shave it all off, it will not be a good thing.  That shit itches like a mother when you start letting hair grow down there and then you have to shave it off.  So which is it, bush or no bush?