Dear Men: Quit Acting Like A Girl

Dear Men of LA:

Recently I’ve noticed that guys are acting like girls!  What the hell?  Let’s look at some examples.

1  Men keep on asking over and over things like “are you sure it’s ok if I spend the night?” or “are you sure if I come along on girl’s night?”  If I’ve told you once that it’s ok, then it’s ok.  Well it’s probably not but just go with it.  No woman wants to hear shit over and over again.  It’s a drag.

2.  Men want to sleep over every night.  Come on!  We want at least one night alone to watch our girly shows and slobber over Charlie Hunnam!

3.  Men are clingy.  When they sleep over they want to cuddle and snuggle and talk about shit.  Look, you have your side of the bed and I have mine.  Give a girl some space to breathe.  If you need someone to cuddle with I can let you borrow my cat, Mr. Oliver Tittywinks.

4.  Men want to cuddle with your cat if they can’t cuddle with you.  I said you can borrow Mr. Oliver Tittywinks.  I didn’t say you could smother him.  

5.  Men being clingy or insecure!  “Oh my God!  She has a facebook picture of her and another guy.  Do you think she’s dating him too?”  (That’s what you get for facebook stalking!)  “She hasn’t texted me back all day!  Is she not into me anymore?”  “Do you think I look OK?  I swear this shirt makes me look fat.”  I swear I’ve heard all three from guy friends recently.

 

No One Likes A Clingy Guy Or Stalker

Dear Men of LA:

When you go out with a girl for the first time and she drops you off at your place, at least wait until the next day to text her.   Do not text her ten minutes after you walk in the door.  Do not say, “hey I had a really good time, I’m already missing you.”  Or, “hey, I can’t stop thinking about you ever since I left your side two minutes ago.”  Or, “hey I know we were meant to be together even though we just met five hours ago.  It’s my destiny to be with you.”  Give the girl a chance to breathe.  No one likes a clingy guy or a stalker.