Dear Men of LA:
I was at my bar the other day and I heard someone scream, “are you fucking in your mind?” It was the bartender whose English is not that great and she meant to say, “are you fucking out of your mind?” I laughed so hard I almost peed! It made me think of all the stupid shit I”ve heard in the last couple of weeks.
I’m looking for a girlfriend. I’m lonely and I don’t have anyone. Oh but I should tell you that I’m screwing this girl at work. Are you fucking in your mind?
Do you think it’s ok to want to have sex with you but not want to see you naked? Are you fucking in your mind?
I have thirteen cats. Do you think that makes me needy? Are you fucking in your mind?
A guy goes running down the street screaming, “I want to rape a girl tonight! Do I have any takers?” Are you fucking in your mind? (Actually that happened a few months a go and I wanted to say, “I want to kick the shit out of a guy. Do you want to volunteer?”
Do you have any coke or can you buy me a drink? I’m a social worker and I’m in AA. Are you fucking in your mind? Seriously? This chick told my friend that down at the bar.
I sent this chick a dick pic. She didn’t respond back. That must mean she likes it right? I think I’ll send her ten more! Are you fucking in your mind?
I know you just told me you don’t want to see me anymore but do you still want to have sex? Are you fucking in your mind?