Let’s Keep Our Hands, Spit, Tongues, And Dicks To Ourselves At The Bar!

Yesterday’s adventures at my local bar!

Dear Men of LA:

Here’s a tip.  Do not go up to a girl in a bar and start licking her ear.  I have no idea why people like having their ears licked.  Spit in an ear feels slimy and gross.  Also, don’t go up to her and start rubbing her hair saying, “your hair is so soft.  It feels like angel hair.”  What exactly does angel hair feel like?  Is it softer than a kitten?  Softer than a baby’s butt?  Softer than a virgin’s vagina?  Hmmmm!  So here’s a novel idea.  Let’s keep our hands, spit, tongues, dicks and everything else to ourselves at the bar.  One of these days you are going to lick the wrong chicks ear and end up in a jail cell with a guy called Miss Twiddlywinks.  Then I guarantee you Miss Twiddlywinks will want to lick more than your ear.

3 thoughts on “Let’s Keep Our Hands, Spit, Tongues, And Dicks To Ourselves At The Bar!

  1. I do not want to end up in a prison with some dude getting affectionate with my ears. But I don’t recall ever doing that, either, and keep my tongue and dick in check in public. 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s