Yesterday’s adventures at my local bar!
Dear Men of LA:
Here’s a tip. Do not go up to a girl in a bar and start licking her ear. I have no idea why people like having their ears licked. Spit in an ear feels slimy and gross. Also, don’t go up to her and start rubbing her hair saying, “your hair is so soft. It feels like angel hair.” What exactly does angel hair feel like? Is it softer than a kitten? Softer than a baby’s butt? Softer than a virgin’s vagina? Hmmmm! So here’s a novel idea. Let’s keep our hands, spit, tongues, dicks and everything else to ourselves at the bar. One of these days you are going to lick the wrong chicks ear and end up in a jail cell with a guy called Miss Twiddlywinks. Then I guarantee you Miss Twiddlywinks will want to lick more than your ear.