Sorry kitties for the absence. I was in the hospital last week and have been recovering ever since. Having your gallbladder removed is a bitch.
Dear Men of LA:
If you see a girl out with a dude, please do not hit on the dude. Girls hate their men getting hit on by other dudes. Case in point. This is a real life situation that happened to me a few weeks ago. My friend and I walked into my local watering hole and immediately he starts getting hit on. Now I don’t know what it is about him and this bar, but men are on him like white on rice. It’s a miracle really because a. he’s not gay and b. it’s a bunch of old dudes that are not gay. I swear he could make some serious money pimping himself out at this bar. It’s annoying as hell to me because I want him paying attention to me, not these old ass motherfuckers who are trying to get in his pants. Check this shit out:
“Hey man, you look mighty mannourished. (Yeah he said mannuourned, not malnourished.) Why don’t you let me buy you some dinner?”
“I don’t think so man. I’m with her.”
“But you look really skinny and yummy. I’d love to buy you some dinner and get in your pants.”
“Naw. That’s ok. I think I’m going to play some pool with her.”
“Really? That’s a shame. Cause I’ve got a snake in my pants that I’d love to let loose on you.”
Then the asshole gets up and puts his body against mine and whispers in my ear. Literally the dude’s tongue was in my ear. Let me tell you old ass tongue in your ear and old ass dick pressing against you is about the grossest thing there is.
“So I’d love to see your friend’s dick. I bet it looks really yummy.”
“Yeah and I’m sure you will never know.”
“Come on. I’d love to peel that shit back like a banana and stick the whole thing in my mouth.”
“Well guess what? I’ve seen his dick and it’s awesome. Too bad you’ll never see it.”
“Come on. Tell me what it’s like.”
“I don’t kiss and tell. Now get the hell off of me you pervert.”