Dear Men of LA:
The following is a list of pictures no girl wants to see on your profile. I swear I’ve seen all of these pictures on Tinder in the last week and they’ve made me want to claw out my eyes.
A naked guy holding his cat. OK let’s face it, most girls love cats, but unless you look like David Beckham (or have a super cute cat named Miss Tiddlywinks) no girl wants to see this. Keep the clothes on and let the cat’s cuteness do the talking.
A naked guy lying on a couch licking his fingers. Really? Since when did licking your fingers like you are in a Kentucky Fried Chicken commercial look sexy? Also, it doesn’t help your case if you weigh 300 pounds. Let’s skip the chicken and fingers! Go put some clothes on, do a normal pose, and hit the gym.
A guy dressed in a baby doll dress holding a cup of pee. Now I swear that this one is out there. Shit, I almost dropped my iPad when I saw it. Why any guy would think a picture of him dressed in drag holding a cup of piss would turn anyone on is beyond me. It takes all kinds right? Good luck on finding that girl.
A picture of you wearing a lamb’s head. Animal heads do not turn women on unless they are into furries. If that’s the kind of girl you are trying to get, God’s speed.
Pictures of half-naked children running around. OK unless they are your children, then you have no business putting up scantily dressed kids on your profile. No one likes a pedophile.
Dick pictures. This one is an oldy but a goody. No one wants to see your dick. I don’t care if it’s the most beautiful dick on the planet. Keep it to yourself. Women only want to see dicks up close and personal.