Women Only Want To See Dicks Up Close And Personal!

Dear Men of LA:

The following is a list of pictures no girl wants to see on your profile.  I swear I’ve seen all of these pictures on Tinder in the last week and they’ve made me want to claw out my eyes.

A naked guy holding his cat.  OK let’s face it, most girls love cats, but unless you look like David Beckham (or have a super cute cat named Miss Tiddlywinks) no girl wants to see this.  Keep the clothes on and let the cat’s cuteness do the talking.

A naked guy lying on a couch licking his fingers.  Really?  Since when did licking your fingers like you are in a Kentucky Fried Chicken commercial look sexy?  Also, it doesn’t help your case if you weigh 300 pounds.  Let’s skip the chicken and fingers!  Go put some clothes on, do a normal pose, and hit the gym.

A guy dressed in a baby doll dress holding a cup of pee.  Now I swear that this one is out there.  Shit, I almost dropped my iPad when I saw it.  Why any guy would think a picture of him dressed in drag holding a cup of piss would turn anyone on is beyond me.  It takes all kinds right?  Good luck on finding that girl.

A picture of you wearing a lamb’s head.  Animal heads do not turn women on unless they are into furries.  If that’s the kind of girl you are trying to get, God’s speed.

Pictures of half-naked children running around.  OK unless they are your children, then you have no business putting up scantily dressed kids on your profile.  No one likes a pedophile.

Dick pictures.  This one is an oldy but a goody.  No one wants to see your dick.  I don’t care if it’s the most beautiful dick on the planet.  Keep it to yourself.  Women only want to see dicks up close and personal.

7 thoughts on “Women Only Want To See Dicks Up Close And Personal!

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