Dear Men of LA:
I was sitting with a guy friend last night listening to him whine about a girl who he was crazy about and thought of some wisdom he should definitely hear. I told him and now I’m telling you because I know there is some guy out there making a complete fool out of himself.
1. Quit acting like a girl!! Do not ever sit by the phone waiting for her to call. Get out of the house. Go for a run! Go for a beer! Go watch some porn. Do anything but wait by the phone and bitch and moan like a damn pussy girl.
2. Which brings me to point number 2. If she hasn’t called or texted you in a few days don’t continue to text or call her. Wait for her to make the next move. I don’t care if you have to hide your phone in the toilet, don’t text or call her. And don’t listen to the lie “well if I don’t call or text her she’s going to think that I don’t like her anymore.” Women tell themselves that all the time and it’s not any truer for them as it is for dudes. Don’t believe the lie.
3. Don’t Facebook stalk! It never leads anywhere good. OK stalking in any way shape or form is just creepy. Stalking on Facebook is no exception. Don’t do it because I guarantee you that your’re going to find out something you don’t like. And here’s a clue. If you find your girl has a profile picture of her and a dude and that same dude has a profile picture of him and her that means they are in a relationship or at the least having sex. No they are not brother and sister. No they are not best buds!! They are screwing!!! Get over it and move on.
4. Which brings me to point number 4. If you do decide to Facebook stalk do not tell the girl about it. Do not say, “Hey I saw you with this dude on your Facebook page. Who is he? Is he your boyfriend?” Dude, all that’s going to get you is she thinking that you are some kind of weird stalker. SHE WILL NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN! If you’ve already seen it, forget you saw it and don’t say anything.
5. If you know she’s lying to you move along. Do you really want to be with some chick that lies to you and treats you like crap. Remember you are a great guy. (Well at least I hope you are. Shoot for all I know you are a serial killer that keeps women chained in their crawl space and eats their body parts). You deserve to be treated like a king.