Dear Men of LA:
I was watching The Affair the other day (which by the way that show rocks. Joshua Jackson is amazing and he’s number 2 on I’d give my right arm to ……. list. Charlie Hunnam is number 1 by the way!! Ok… I digress) and someone said, “a date is an interview to have sex.” Damn truer words were never spoken. So if you are out on a date with a girl and you want to ace that interview and actually get laid (because that’s the point of dating right?) here’s a few pointers that just might get you there:
1 Open the door for a girl, whether be the car door, restaurant door, etc. You don’t know how much this impresses a girl. It’s old fashioned yes, but timeless too.
2. Give her compliments. I don’t care if her hair isn’t looking the best, her dress is hideous, or she has some crap stuck in her teeth, figure out some kind of compliment. Women love getting compliments!! Be creative! Make something up!!
3 If it’s the first date, always pay, especially if you ask her out!! Now I know in this day of equality for men and women that women should pay on dates and I totally agree. I’ve paid a ton of times. But damn dude, pay on the first date. Quit spending so much money on porn, comics, and pizza and use a little to take that girl out to eat or for coffee or something. It means more than you think it does and I guarantee you it’ll pave the road to you getting laid.
4 Hold out the chair for her at the restaurant. Again it means more than you think. And make sure you hold it out for her in a way that she can actually sit down and not fall on her ass on the floor. No one likes to see a girl flat on her ass, legs in the air, gasping for breath. Or maybe they do, but that’s only in pornos.
5 When you are walking down the street always walk on the outside of the street and she walks on the inside. You never know what kind of weirdos are out there running around looking for chicks to knock over. And damn dude, you are never going to get laid if your date is lying on the ground in a big pool of blood.
6 If you do make it to her place after dinner comment on her home. Her lovely art work (even if it’s butt ass ugly), her cat, Miss Tittywinks (even if it’s an evil fur ball that you know will kill you in your sleep if you sleep over) and her choice of furniture (again, even if it’s butt ass ugly).