Dear Men of LA:
I watched the horror movie, “Knock Knock” this weekend and discovered some informative lessons I thought I’d share with you guys. You never know, they may come in handy.
1 If two hot wet naked women show up at your door in the middle of the night tell them to go to your neighbor’s house. Better yet, do not even answer the door. What are you thinking? That you were an especially good boy so you got a treat? That by some miracle, the heavens sent you these two hot babes to do your every nasty thing you ever thought of? Wake up! You’ve been watching too much porn. There’s always a catch at the end my friend. Nothing comes for free.
2 If you do decide to let them in, immediately call a cab, uber, the cops or what not. Do not let them stay in your house because you know nothing good is going to come from it.
3 I don’t care how wet they are, do not let them take their clothes off. Do not let them show any form of skin. While you are drying off their clothes. put them in a towel. Do not let them wear your wife’s clothes. Again this is not some porno you just watched. You don’t get a happy ending.
4. Lastly, do not in anyway touch or feel the girls. DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH THEM!! It does not end well. It only ends with them destroying your house, making a sex tape, posting it on facebook for all of your friends and WIFE to see, and then burying you in the back yard.
So in short the next time two hot wet girls show up in the middle of the night at your house asking for help keep your dick in your pants and keep the door locked. Remember nothing comes for free. Not even sex.