I’m not trying to put you out or anything but if you would give my friend a hand job I’d sure appreciate it.

Alright kids, sorry I’ve been away for a few weeks but I’m back with a few pearls of wisdom for you.

Dear Men of LA:

If you are going to pick up a woman in a bar for the love of God and all that is holy please do not say to the following to her:

“I’m not trying to put you out or anything but if you would give my friend a hand job I’d sure appreciate it.”  Yeah like that’s not going to put me out at all.  I’d be happy to put my hand on your friend’s dick.

“Whose dick are you sucking tonight?”  Well it sure as hell isn’t yours.

“Hey I’m too drunk to walk back to my hotel!  Can you walk me back and tuck me in?”   What do I look like, your nanny?

“I have five wives would you like to be number six?”  Hell no!!

 

11 thoughts on “I’m not trying to put you out or anything but if you would give my friend a hand job I’d sure appreciate it.

  1. Can I borrow your cell phone?…..I just need to call God and tell Him he just lost an angel.

    I got two responses from 2 girls from that one, girl number one “What the fuck? Are you stupid.” And girl number two “he he he, that´s the silliest thing I´ve heard, he he he” Then charming me being me, silly me, sort of funny happy go lucky me, well….the night ended pretty well let´s say.

      • Probably, the like for a personality comes in all shapes and forms, what one finds cute and funny and even sexy the other just finds it straight out stupid and puts her off.
        But I´m used to rejection, so I walk two feet to the next girl and do the whole charade again, while my friend (guys and gals) are laughing at me and my misery. Have to laugh in life.

  2. Nice title. I would really love to know if the hand job line has ever worked. Lots of disgusting come-ons in there, but especially the hand job line… 🙂

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