Women Are Smarter Than You Think

Dear Men of LA:

Women are a lot smarter than you think they are.  We’re on to your code words and little white lies.  Here’s a list of regular code words or phrases that you use that we know what you really mean.

I’m an independent contractor, I don’t have a regular job, I’m independently wealthy etc.  Women around the world know it’s code for I don’t have a job.  Find a more creative way to say it so we’re not on to you.

I’m a writer or an actor.  Women also know that’s code for I’m unemployed.

I don’t have a girl friend but I’m seeing someone.  OK own up to it.  You have a girlfriend.  At least she thinks she’s your girlfriend.  We all know you are trying to hedge your bets.  Stick with your girlfriend.

I’m between places right now.  We all know that’s code for I’m living with my parents.

You can’t come over right now because my place is a wreck.  What guy’s place isn’t always a wreck?  That’s code for I live with like 10 roommates or I live with my parents.

I can’t friend you on facebook because I have too many stalkers.  That’s code for I have a girlfriend and I don’t want you to know I have one.

Hey I left my wallet at home but I’ll be glad to buy the drinks the next time we go out.  That’s code for you are dead broke.  We know it.  Now know this.  There will be no next date.  Or…

My atm card doesn’t work at this ATM machine.  Can I get you the next time?  Same as above.




8 thoughts on “Women Are Smarter Than You Think

  1. My personal favourite: “Did you make sure your wallet is in your purse?” (Forty minutes later) “I’m having the LOBSTER.” (Just then … texts concierge at the hotel to arrange a pickup… forty minutes later) “I’m going to the bar to grab myself a drink.” (Leaves) Ha ha ha ha…

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