Keep It To Yourself

Dear Men of LA:

If you meet a girl for the first time do not hog the conversation.  Let her get a word in edgewise.  Let the conversation flow.  Also remember to keep some stuff to yourself.  Women love mystery.  They don’t want to know your whole life story within the first five minutes you’ve met them.  And for God’s sake don’t tell them the following:

“Hey, when I was 8 years old I used to shoot squirrels with my Dad’s 32 pistol.  I’m still in therapy to this day for it and cry like a baby when I see one.”

“Hey I just got out of jail for domestic violence.  I swear I really didn’t hit my wife.  It was just a love tap.”

“Hey I’m on the run from the FBI.  We can’t be seen in public because I might get caught.  But I’m sure it’ll be fine if we hang at your house.”

“Hey I don’t like food, liquids, or people.  But you seem OK to me.”

“Hey I like to dress in drag and panhandle for money.  Can I borrow any of your clothes?”

14 thoughts on “Keep It To Yourself

  1. I can believe your last post, because I made the mistake of being sent to LA on a business trip for a month. Met the worst people in my life! Had one follow me back to CO a few months later. Had to have my husband step in and chase him off before I ended up literally killing the man. Studied tae kwondo while my husband and I were dating. He knows I have all the moves necessary to end someone’s life. Have moved all over the country in my short life since 1973. Not planning on moving again. Doubt the man will ever be able to track me down. I look entirely different now.
    Jeanette Hall

    • I swear I heard that comment one time on a date. I wanted to run out of there but we were at a soccer game. I didn’t respond to him for a whole week and then he asked me to go to Disney Land with him. How weird!! Of course I said, “hell no!!”

  2. You had me laughing with this, or smiling better said trying to not make much noice, I don´t want to scare my rare roomate, so keep it to yourself? damn,a woman giving advice to guys, and you are actually right and funny also…. I think I´m flirting, I do suffer from OCF- Obsessive Compulsive Flirt, but I am a good guy though, was that too much information?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s