Well I’m not dead and I’m only coughing up my lungs maybe once every hour so here we go:
Dear Men of LA:
After sex, give your girl a minute to breathe. Don’t immediately set in with the interrogation. You are not Mulder and she is not Scully. No one wants to take a questionnaire after sex. Do not ask her:
Was it good for you? If she was quiet the whole time you have your answer. If she was moaning the whole time you have your answer. (Unless she was faking it.)
Did you have an orgasm? Same from above applies
When I slapped the shit out of you and gave you a bloody lip did it feel good? Well probably not. Quit watching all of those crazy porn movies.
Did you like it when I bit your ear hard? I know you said, “damn that shit hurts!” but I think you liked it. No she probably didn’t like it. When she said, “damn that shit hurts!” that probably means, “damn that shit hurts!”
Was it too fast for you? Well if you lasted 10 seconds, that’s a hell yes!!! If you lasted an hour that’s a hell no!!!
Are you ok? If she has a smile on her face and she’s trying to cuddle with you I’d say she is ok. If she’s running out the door screaming I’d say you’ll probably never see her again!
Will we ever have sex again? Same from above applies.