Dear Men of LA:
Don’t lie, cheat, or steal. It’s a simple rule to live by but why is it so hard to follow? Let’s explore these three rules shall we?
Cheat: No one likes a cheater. When you stick your dick in someone other than your girlfriend, do you really think she’s going to let you stick your dick back in her? If she’s smart, hell no. If she’s stupid, well then hell yes. (But do you really want to hang out with a stupid girl?) They always say grass is greener on the other side, but let me tell you it’s just as brown as it is on your side. And if you do decide to cheat, for the love of God don’t sleep with your girl’s best friend. That’s tackier than shit. Keep your dick in your pants or otherwise it might end up on the bedroom floor.
Lie: Everyone tells little white lies now and then but it’s the big lies that always bites in the ass. Keep it honest. Keep it real. There is nothing sexier than being honest. If she doesn’t look good in that ugly ass dress, tell her, but in a nice way. If she’s put on a few pounds, tell her, but in a nice way. Believe me, she’d rather know than not know.
Steal: Don’t steal candy, money, or other people’s girlfriends. Remember you have a great girl! How would you feel if someone stole your girl? Just remember the golden rule. And ladies, the same applies to you. And for god’s sake, if you are going to steal someone else’s guy, after you screw him, don’t go around town and make up horrible stories like he raped you. No one wants to hear it.
Just remember women have a long memory and it takes forever for them to get over something. So the next time you think about lying, cheating, or stealing remember the long road of misery your woman is going to rain down on you. Is it really worth it?