The Do’s And Don’ts For The Morning After

Dear Men of LA:

You’ve finally got your dream girl to have sex with you.  Way to go!  But if you want your woman to keep having sex with you here’s the lowdown on the do’s and don’ts for the morning after:

1.  Don’t say I love you, talk about marriage, or say she’s the one.  You get the idea.  Saying, “Hey let’s run off to Vegas and let’s get married (even if it’s a joke) will scare a girl more than seeing a mouse in the house.  Don’t do it!!  I don’t care if you do really want to marry the girl.  Take a breath.  Wait until you sleep with the girl at least a couple of more times and then let’s try the whole marriage thing.  Also saying, “I love you” too soon will scare the beejesus out of a girl.  What’s the rush?

2.  Be sure to stay in bed till she wakes up.  Don’t sneak out like a thief in the night.  If she wakes up to an empty bed, you’ll never wake up in her bed again.

3.  Be a cuddle bug the next morning.  There’s nothing a girl likes more than a good cuddle.  So I don’t care if you feel like you can’t breathe and your woman may have that skanky morning after sex smell, cuddle for 5 minutes.  It’ll earn you brownie points towards your next sexipade.

4.  Run to the bathroom and steal some mouthwash or run some toothpaste over your teeth.  We know you don’t wake up with morning fresh breath, but if you surprise her with decent breath you may get followup sex the next morning.

5.  When you are leaving, give her a kiss and tell her how much fun you had.  Tell her how beautiful she looked last night.  You get the picture.  You want to see her again right?  Women love compliments, especially from someone they just slept with.  So be Shakespeare.  You have it in you.

3 thoughts on “The Do’s And Don’ts For The Morning After

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s