Dear Men of LA:
If a girl tells you “I’m fine” then guess what? She’s not fine. I guarantee you that you have done something to make her not fine! You probably left the toilet seat up and all of her good makeup fell in, ruining said makeup. You ran over her cat, Miss Tittywinkles, while trying to make a stealthy getaway from a 3am booty call. You told her she was fat when she asked you had she put on any weight. (Here’s a clue, if a girl asks you has she put on any weight, always say, “hell no babe! you look like you’ve lost weight. you are beautiful!!) You stole her last peanut butter chocolate chip brownie. You broke her favorite wine glasses while playing Grand Theft Auto. You screwed around with her TIVO because you were trying to tape your WWE Wrestling and somehow wiped out all of her Gossip Girl favorite episodes. You spilled beer all over her Fifty Shades of Grey books. Finally, you used her tampons to clean out your nose buggers! Gross!
So when she say, “I’m Fine!” run for the hills. Or at least go out and buy her some flowers or candy. Because I guarantee you the next time she says, “I’m fine,” you won’t be fine!!