Dear Men of LA:
Honesty! Do you remember what that is? You know when a guy actually tells the truth to a girl. I know it’s a novel concept to a guy but here’s a clue. Women actually like it when a guy is honest with them. Hard to believe but true. So let’s go over some of the lies men tell women.
1. I’m on my way! No you are never on your way. You are still watching the game, porn, or Game of Thrones. Don’t make a girl wait. Get off your ass and get in the car.
2. I’m sorry I’m late. This goes hand in hand with the above. No you aren’t sorry.
3. I had no signal or my battery died. Also goes hand in hand with the above. This is the oldest excuse in the book. No woman is going to fall for this. And if you do, shame on you!!
4. I wasn’t really looking at her ass, I was looking at that…… Come on! We know where your eyes were at. Be a man! Admit it! You might get a slap but at least you owned up to it. She may even respect you for it.
5. I forgot to call you last night. All women know this is code for I didn’t really want to talk to you last night. Or I was too busy! Or I you are being a pain in the ass and I had something better to do. Tell her the truth. Tell her you didn’t feel like talking to her. I guarantee you this will cause a lot less problems than lying. Maybe next time she’ll forget to call you.
6. Just come over and we’ll hang out. I promise we won’t have sex. I just want to snuggle. A man not wanting to have sex is about as common as Miley Cyrus wearing underwear. You do the math!
7. That was the best sex I’ve ever had. Don’t believe the hype!
8. I promise I wasn’t drunk dialing you last night hoping to get laid. Please!! Why does a guy call a girl in the middle of the night? I guarantee you it’s not because he just wants to hear the sound of a woman’s voice. That’s what phone sex operators are for.
9. I swear I’m listening to you. No you are not!! You’re thinking about sex or the game or any number of things that have nothing to do with what the woman is talking about. Be honest. Maybe she’ll start talking about something interesting.
10. I love you. Don’t say it unless you mean it. It’s the biggest dick move of all when you lie about that! Especially if it’s only to get into a girls pants.