A Class In How To Leave The Next Morning After Sex

Dear Men of LA:

There has to be a class that teaches men how to leave the next day after they have had sex the night before.  And I swear every man on this planet needs to take it.  So just in case you haven’t taken the class here are a few pointers:

*  Don’t act weird.  What I mean by this is don’t avoid eye contact, don’t stutter, don’t act like you are scared to touch her.  Jesus man, you just banged the shit out of her the night before.  You weren’t scared to touch her then.  Why are you scared to touch her now?  DON’T BE AWKWARD

*  Don’t be afraid to kiss her.   Ok I know your breath probably smells bad.  Hers probably does too.  Run to the bathroom and put some toothpaste on your finger and swish it around in your mouth.  If you can’t do that bad breath for 10 seconds is not going to kill you.  Women love kisses in the morning!!

*   Tell her you had a good time last night.  Don’t be sleazy about it.  Don’t say, “hey baby, man you rocked my world last night.” A “I had a really great time with you last night” will suffice.  It will make her day.

*  Most importantly.  Text her at some point in the day.  Just to say hello.  You don’t know how many points you will get and it’ll make her glad she had sex with you.  You will be a knight in shining armor and not some sleaze bag!!

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