It’s Cool To Stuff Your Dead Cat

Dear Men of LA,
If you are trying to pick a woman up at a bar for the love of god do not use the following line: “hey it’s totally cool if you stuff your dead cat and put her at the end of the bed to look at every night. Then she’s never really gone.”  This is not going to get you laid.

Ps:  I guy really tried to use this line on me at a bar in Hollywood last night.   He was being totally serious.  Needless to say I got out of there as fast as I could.

Like I always say, “if I found a man in LA that wasn’t an alcoholic, drug addict, nutcase, or morally challenged I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

Hey Baby Can I Take You To McDonald’s?

Dear Men of LA,

“Hey baby can I take you to McDonald’s?” is not an acceptable pickup line.  The only girl that will fall for that line is a hooker that charges $20 on the street corner and has no teeth.

Start Fishing

Dear Men of LA,

How is it that all men know exactly when a girl has moved on and she is happy?  That’s the exact time you decide to come back and say, “Hey I miss you.  Can I see you?”  Here’s a clue for all of you men folk.  Just don’t.  Leave the poor girl alone.  Move along.  There are plenty of other fish in the sea for you to reel in.  So go get your pole and start fishing.